


MateMatch.com

by OfficialStarsandGutters



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 15:29:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2155704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfficialStarsandGutters/pseuds/OfficialStarsandGutters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmates AU: Richard couldn't wait until his eighteenth birthday, when he'd finally learn the name of his soulmate. Couldn't wait to meet him. But it's been twelve years, and still no sign of Severin. So he joins up to MateMatch.com in hopes of finding him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	MateMatch.com

**Author's Note:**

> I'm literally just writing self indulgent crap to try and cheer myself up at the moment, and this idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while. It's not a great piece of writing, but at least I've finally made something of the idea.

**Inbox 5**

Richard watches as the screen refreshes on his phone before skimming through his emails. Newsletter from the Lyric. Reminder his phone bill is due. Response from MateMatch.com. New follower on Twit-

Wait.

Response from MateMatch.com.

Response. MateMatch.com.

His soulmate has replied to him.

Richard swallows hard. His phone shakes. No, it is him that is shaking. The trembling travelling down his arm to his hand, to the phone clutched in it. He tugs the sleeve of his cardigan up and traces the letters on his right wrist with an unsteady finger.

Severin.

He takes a deep breath to calm himself, and opens the email.

*

Richard sits on his bed, looking at his wrist.

He and Jim do not have a clock in their room, so he does not know for sure what time it is, but it is dark outside, so he thinks it must be late. It must be close.

Mammy hasn't made enough to pay the electric again, so the only light in the room is from the street lamps outside. It is enough.

“You're ridiculous, Richard.”

“Aren't you even a little excited, Jim?”

“No.”

“Not even a bit?”

“Not at all. This whole soulmate notion is ridiculous. I don't require someone to complete me.”

“It's not about that. They're the person you fit best with in the world. I can't wait to find out who mine is.”

Once it hits midnight, Jim and Richard will be eighteen, and the names of their soulmates will blossom across their wrists. Richard can barely hide his excitement. He has been waiting for this for years, since he was a child and Mammy sat him on her lap and explained about soulmates.

Jim is not so eager.

“It's rubbish. A myth to give meaning to our meaningless existence.”

“Don't say that.”

“If soulmates are so great, and bring such happiness, then what about Ma and Da? Is that happiness, Richard? Working yourself to the bone to fuel your soulmates drinking sprees? Being beaten and put down and abused in every way? Enduring it, because, oh! That's my soul mate! I can't leave him.”

Jim spits his words out as if they leave a vile taste in his mouth, and it makes Richard's stomach scrunch up into hard, uncomfortable knots. He knows his parents are unhappy. He knows it is a horrible situation. He can't explain it, except that Da is obviously sick, and he doesn't mean it, and it's the alcohol that causes most of the problems. Richard's mate won't be like that. They will be sweet, and kind, and they'll listen to him when he speaks, and like the theatre, and they'll make him so happy. They'll make everything better.

“Face it; it's a fairytale. Love doesn't exist, and the concept of soulmates is ridiculous.”

Richard's throat is burning, and there is a lump in it so thick that he can't argue with Jim. All the words just get blocked behind it.

He is so busy blinking back tears that he misses the letters appearing on his wrist.

 _Severin_.

*

It will be easy, Richard thinks, to know when he finally meets his soulmate. Severin isn't exactly a common name, so he should have no problem knowing when their paths cross. He just has to wait.

So he does.

He waits.

*

It's on his thirtieth birthday that Richard decides something has to be done about this.

He's entering his fourth decade with a relatively successful career, a handful of close friends, a haughty cat, and still no soulmate in sight. It's disheartening. Almost everyone he knows has met their soulmate by the time they're thirty.

Waiting isn't getting him anywhere. He needs to take action.

There are numerous websites for this sort of thing. Everyone wants to find their soul mate, so there's a big enough market for it. Richard has seen the advertisements; on television, on the tube, plastered across the sides of buses. He even knows a few people who have had success with them. So, after a bit of research, he signs up to MateMatch.com.

Username: rbrook

Password: prospero

Name: Richard Brook

Choose your display picture:

IMG_246 (Upload)

Location: London

Age: 30

(Save Profile)

Richard clicks save, and the website brings up a square box.

Time for Mate Match!

Enter your name:

Richard

Enter your mate's name:

Severin

(Search)

It sounds so simple. One click of a button, and he might finally know who his mate is. One click, and he could finally find Severin. Just one click.

Richard hesitates.

He can feel the excitement building inside of him. Like pressure. Like something that is going to burst. It's silly to get this excited already. There's no certainty that Severin even has an account. Richard could just end up disappointed.

Only one way to find out.

He clicks.

*

He and Jim finish school. Jim burns down their house with Mammy and Da inside it, and the bodies of two boys Richard does not know. They are legally dead when they go to live with Jim's friend, and Richard does not like it. His flat is small and dark, with mold growing on the walls. Richard sleeps curled on the sofa. Jim sleeps in his friend's bed. The shadows beneath his eyes darken, and Richard sees bruises on his body when he is changing. Jim disappears for long hours and Richard does not know where he goes.

He waits.

*

Congratulations! You have a match.

(See Match)

Richard's breath catches. His heart beats hard against his chest.

He clicks.

rinmoran

Severin Moran.

There is no photograph, but his location reads London, and Richard can't help but laugh. So he's been here all along. Not across the ocean. Not on the other side of the world. Here. Right here in London with Richard.

*

One day Jim's friend tries to touch Richard, and Jim leaves him cold on the kitchen floor. He does not tell Richard how he killed him, but after that they have their own flat. It is not much better, but at least it is theirs.

He waits.

*

Age: 33

Three years older than Richard. Three more years of knowing his soulmate's name. Three more years of waiting. Three more years searching. Three more long years of the dull, empty ache of longing. Richard feels a twinge of sympathy. He doesn't think he could go another month not knowing, especially not now, with Severin so close.

Profile Created: 2 months ago.

Richard's smile falters. He wonders if Severin was as excited as he was, when he made his account. Wonders how he took it when there was no match for him. It must have been so disappointing. He wonders if Severin checks his account every day, if he's still hoping some day his mate will pop up.

(Send Message)

Well, Richard's not going to keep him waiting any longer.

*

Jim gets them new identities, gives Richard a different name from him, tells him it's to keep him safe. Richard starts finding acting jobs; little parts in theatres above bars. Jim still disappears for long hours at a time, won't tell Richard how he is earning so much money. Within a year he gets Richard a flat of his own, lets him get on with his life.

He waits.

*

Severin,

Hi! I'm Richard, but you probably know that, since we've been matched.

I don't really know what to say. I've waited for this for so long. For 12 years now. I mean, if you are my mate. I guess we can't know for certain this way, but Severin isn't a terribly common name, is it? So you probably are.

I'm so excited! I wish we could talk face to face, instead of this. I'd like to meet up, if you would want to. Since we're both from London at least we won't have far to travel. We could arrange something, if you'd be up for it. I promise I'm not a murderer or anything! Haha.

I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. I'm originally from Dublin. I'm an actor. Mostly theatre, but I've done some radio and small TV parts as well. I have one brother, and a cat. He's in my picture with me. My cat, not my brother haha. I don't know what else to tell you. It's like when someone asks you something interesting about yourself, and suddenly you forget everything about yourself, and besides, you don't know what they would find interesting. Feel free to ask me anything. This might work easier if I answer your questions.

I'm rambling. Sorry. I'm so nervous. Even though we're not actually talking, it's got me all flustered. I wouldn't usually admit that, but you're my soulmate, so I should be able to tell you these things, right? Anyway, I'm really excited to get to know you. Write me back when you can.

With love,

Richard. x

(Send)

*

“You might never find him.”

“What?” Richard looks at Jim, tugging his sleeve down over his wrist, pretending he was not staring at the name again.

“You know exactly what I'm talking about.”

Richard looks away from Jim. He doesn't like Jim's gaze on him like that, dissecting him. Jim takes his silence as invitation to continue.

“Perhaps he's foreign. Living in some distant country where you'll never meet him. Maybe he's some sixty year old creep. Or he could be dead already.”

“No.” Richard sets down his cup with a little too much force. Tea splashes over the edges of it, splatters along the table top.

Jim only smiles across the table at him.

“He's not dead,” Richard says, if only to reassure himself. “I know he's not.”

“Except, you don't know, do you? You don't know, and you could be wasting your life waiting for someone who is already six feet under.”

Richard does not answer. He keeps his anger inside; a tight, hot ball in the pit of his stomach.

Jim's wrist is a mess of white lines. The dark lettering spelling out 'Sebastian' is just barely visible through the scar tissue. Richard knows that Jim thinks he is the sad one, the foolish one, the one wasting his life; but Richard can't help but feel sorry for Jim. He has tried to cut his soul mate from his wrist, from his life, but Richard knows the loneliness must be chewing at his insides just the same as he feels it. The constant dull ache. The longing.

It has been five years already, and he's beginning to wonder if Jim's right. Maybe he's never going to find Severin.

*

rbrook,

You have a response from rinmoran!

'Richard,

I can't describe how surreal it is to finally type that name and know you're going to be reading it. I suppose that's how you feel. There's no need to apologise for being nervous, I completely understand.

I was so surprised when I saw you had messaged me. I knew this was a long shot in the first place, and when you didn't show up, I never expected you to. Actually, it was my nurse that suggested I try this. She thought it might be good for me to find my soulmate, but I'd rather explain that in person. If you still want to see me.

It's better if I explain everything in person, actually, but I am aware that once you discover my situation, you might not want to see me. It's actually difficult to admit this. I would really have preferred us meeting under different circumstances, but life rarely works out that way.

You see, I'm in hospital at the minute. Not an actual hospital. A mental institution. Like I said, I'd rather explain in person than just dump this on you over email, but I understand if you'd rather break contact now. I know that's not what anyone really wants to hear about their soulmate.

Anyway, I have attached the hospital details. If you want to arrange something. Or if you're not comfortable meeting, you can even just phone.

Hope you are well,

Severin.'

Richard doesn't even have to think twice.

*

The more acting he does, the more people he meets, the more happy couples he becomes acquainted with.

It's horrible.

He's pleased for them, of course. He makes a lot of friends through his work, and it is nice to see them so happy. To see them united with their soulmates.

It just also serves to remind him of his lack of mate. Of the void in his life.

Some nights he cries himself to sleep, and in his dreams there is a voice he's never heard before. He wonders if that is Severin. He hopes he finds him soon.

*

“Hi! I'm calling to talk to Severin Moran?”

“Of course. Can you just give me a name?”

“Richard Brook.”

“Okay, Mr Brook. If you hold one second, Severin will be right with you.”

“Thank you.”

Richard clutches his phone in a sweaty palm. He feels sick. He isn't sure if it's nerves or excitement, or perhaps some mixture of both. He's going to hear Severin's voice for the first time. Finally. After waiting so long.

He hears movement on the other side of the line, and takes a shallow inhale. The rustling stops, and he can just about make out someone breathing on the other side. There is a moment of silence between them before Severin speaks.

“Richard?”

The sound makes his heart flutter in his chest, and his next breath catches in his throat. It's the voice from his dreams. Just like he thought. Severin has been with him all along.

“Oh, Severin.”

Severin's breathless laughter washes over him like a warm wave.

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“I was really scared, when they told me you were on the phone. Genuinely terrified. But hearing your voice, it's just kind of made it all stop. Is that weird?”

“No, no, not at all. I mean, I'm the same. I'm actually still shaking a bit, but I just feel giddy now.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm feeling.”

There is another pause in the conversation where each of them takes a minute to compose themselves. Richard is just listening to Severin breathe, and it is the most calming sound.

“Okay, so,” says Severin. “I owe you an explanation.”

“You don't owe me anything.”

“You deserve to know, if you're- If we-”

“If I'm your soulmate.”

“Yes.”

“Which I probably am.”

“Willing to bet really strongly on a 'yes' for that.”

Richard giggles, dropping back into the couch, curling around the phone as if he by doing so he can wrap himself in Severin's voice.

“I want to see you.”

“Just- Maybe let me tell you, first? I'm not sure I can do it face to face. You're gorgeous, by the way. I meant to say that. When I replied. I panicked, and forgot. I would have sent a photo, but it's the hospital computer, so I don't have any. I'm sorry.”

“It's fine. I'm sure you're terribly handsome.”

“I'm not, really. Especially not compared to you. I'm probably a bit of a let down all round.”

“Don't. Don't say that.”

“Well, I mean, no one really wants to discover their mate in a mental institution, do they? That's not a great opening act. I am sorry. I wish things were different, that I were-”

“No.” Richard cuts across Severin, voice firm. “Stop it. I don't want different. I want you. The way you are. You're my soulmate. You're perfect for me. You wouldn't be apologising if you had a broken arm, or cancer, or anything physical, so why are you apologising for being sick?”

“Richard-”

“No. We'll work it out. We'll work around it. I still want to meet you, and I still want to get to know you, and this won't stop me. It won't change my mind.”

“Richard.”

“Severin.”

“I was a soldier.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Ten years.”

“That's where you've been. That's why I couldn't find you.”

“Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“I'm just glad you're alive. I thought- Well, my brother kept telling me- It's not important now.”

“I never wanted to go. My father never left me any choice. I wanted-” Severin's voice cracks, his words dying out, and Richard's chest aches at the sound. “Sorry, I just-”

“Are you alright?”

A sniff from the other side of the line.

“Severin? Severin, are you okay?”

“I wanted to teach.”

Richard can hear from Severin's voice that he is fighting back tears, and every atom of his being aches to reach out and touch Severin. To hold him. To comfort him until the pain leaves his voice.

“I studied for it, at uni, before I left. I thought if I survived, at least I could come back and do what I wanted.”

Richard waits for Severin to continue, but all he hears is ragged breathing at the other end of the line.

“What happened?” he asks, very gently, not wanting to upset Severin further.

“They won't let me teach. They say, after the war, I'm not-” Severin definitely sounds like he is crying now. “I'm not stable enough.”

“Oh, Severin. I'm so sorry.” Richard knows his words mean nothing. He can't even imagine how it must feel to be denied the thing you want to do most. He fought Jim tooth and nail so he could act. If he had been denied that, he doesn't know what he would have done. “When can I see you? I want to come as soon as possible. I don't want to wait any longer.”

There is a long moment before he gets his reply.

“You could come tomorrow.”

*

“You're not still waiting, are you?”

Richard says nothing.

“You're wasting your life, Richie.”

Still, he remains silent. He will not argue with Jim on this any more. He has made his view on the matter quite clear. He just wishes Jim would respect that.

“One day, you'll realise I'm right.”

Jim sighs when he still fails to get a response from Richard.

“As much as I disapprove of this, if you want my assistance-”

“No.” Richard finally finds his voice, and the determination in it takes even him by surprise. “I'm going to find him by myself.”

*

The building is a lot prettier than Richard expected.

He doesn't really know what he was expecting, except in his head the images had been dark and grey and horrible. The institution is actually a bright, cheery yellow, with a long, well maintained garden running along the sides of the driveway. There are flowers growing along the edges of it, and clusters of fruit trees. It looks like a manor house more than a hospital.

Richard has to ask for directions at reception, and he's checked for any potentially dangerous items by a nurse before he's allowed in to the visiting room. It's only then he realises that he has literally no idea what Severin looks like, and he freezes, painfully awkward as he looks at the patients scattered around the room. He's almost about to ask the nurse to point Severin out to him when a man rises in the corner and gives him a little wave.

“Richard,” Severin smiles at him when he moves closer. Richard was right. He is terribly handsome. His hair is brown and just verging on shaggy, neatly combed to the side. He has a strong jaw line, a warm smile, and the prettiest blue eyes Richard has ever seen, behind big, square glasses. “You look even better in real life.”

“Severin.” Richard feels like his face is going to split from grinning so widely. “It's so nice to finally meet you.”

He moves forward for a hug, his smile faltering slightly when Severin steps back, away from him.

“Sorry,” Severin says, looking properly guilty. “I, uhm, not great with contact. We'll have to take it slow.”

Richard's smile comes back in to place full force.

“That's fine.” He gives a little nod, and though he's longing to touch Severin more than anything, he forces himself to sit across from him. Severin's comfort is more important than his desires.

They regard each other across the table for the better part of a minute, just getting acquainted with each others' faces. Richard has never had anyone look at him with such fondness before, so openly adoring that it makes his heart rate pick up. He doesn't realise that he's gazing back at Severin with the same kind of soft adoration, taking in every detail of his face. Finally his eyes meet Severin's, and they both look away, laughing.

“Could we maybe...” Severin puts his hand on the table, looking at it instead of Richard. “I would like to touch you. Maybe, would it be okay, if we try holding hands?”

“Of course.”

Richard sets his hand on the table beside Severin's. He makes no move to take Severin's hand, giving him the control of the situation, allowing him to make the first move. Severin trails his fingertips over Richard's wrist, tracing the letters of his own name, and the touch sparks along Richard's skin. Slowly, Severin moves his hand closer, until his fingers are intertwined with Richard's, their palms pressed together.

“Thank you.”

“It's okay. Everything's going to be okay, now that I've found you. We'll just take it one thing at a time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“One thing at a time.” Severin nods, smiling. “Yeaaah.”

*

Richard sends Jim a text later that evening. There are no words in the message, just a picture attached of his and Severin's wrists, their names side by side.


End file.
